![]() The Pearl was a British underground, pornographic magazine that ran for eighteen issues from July 1879 to December 1880, (with two Christmas supplements). It was published in very limited prints and cost twenty five pounds to buy, which made it prohibitively expensive for all but the professional and upper classes. The Pearl was edited by William Lazenby and had numerous authors (including two flagellant poems by Algernon Charles Swinburne.) After a brief, but brilliant, run, The Pearl was closed down as an obscenity. Far from being deterred, Lazenby went go on to publish three subsequent pornographic magazines, The Cremorne (1882), The Oyster (1883), and The Boudoir (1883). Please note: this material is posted as a historic artefact and must be understood as such. Victorian pornography is representative of its time, and as such is frequently racist, sexist, and homophobic. It often depicts rape, incest and abuse and is uncomfortable to read. This is not modern erotica, please do not approach it as such. Extracts from Volume One Having decided to bring out a Journal, the Editor racks his brains for a suitable name with which to christen his periodical. Friends are generally useless in an emergency of this kind; they suggest all kinds of impossible names; the following were some of the titles proposed in this instance: "Facts and Fancies," "The Cremorne," "The All Round," "The Monthly Courses," "The Devil's Own," and "Dugdale's Ghost"; the two first had certainly great attractions to our mind, but at last our own ideas have hit upon the modest little "Pearl," as more suitable, especially in the hope that when it comes under the snouts of the moral and hypocritical swine of the world, they may not trample it underfoot, and feel disposed to rend the publisher, but that a few will become subscribers on the quiet. To such better disposed piggywiggys, I would say, for encouragement, that they have only to keep up appearances by regularly attending church, giving to charities, and always appearing deeply interested in moral philanthropy, to ensure a respectable and highly moral character, and that if they only are clever enough never to be found out, they may, sub rosa, study and enjoy the philosophy of life till the end of their days, and earn a glorious and saintly epitaph on their tombstone, when at last the Devil pegs them out. Editor of the "Pearl." Sub-Umbra, or Sport among the She-Noodles ![]() The merry month of May has always been famous for its propitious influence over the voluptuous senses of the fairer sex. I will tell you two or three little incidents which occurred to me in May, 1878, when I went to visit my cousins in Sussex, or as I familiarly call them, the She-Noodles, for the sport they afforded me at various times. My uncle's is a nice country residence, standing in large grounds of its own, and surrounded by small fields of arable and pasture land, interspersed by numerous interesting copses, through which run footpaths and shady walks, where you are not likely to meet anyone in a month. I shall not trouble my readers with the name of the locality, or they may go pleasure hunting for themselves. Well, to go on, these cousins consisted of Annie, Sophie, and Polly, beside their brother Frank, who, at nineteen, was the eldest, the girls being, respectively, eighteen, sixteen, and fifteen. After dinner, the first day of my arrival, paterfamilias and mamma both indulged in a snooze in their armchair, whilst us boys and girls (I was the same age as Frank) took a stroll in the grounds. I attached myself more particularly to cousin Annie, a finely developed blonde, with deep blue eyes, pouting red lips, and a full heaving bosom, which to me looked like a perfect volcano of smothered desires. Frank was a very indolent fellow, who loved to smoke his cigar, and expected his sisters, who adored him, to sit by his side, reading some of the novels of the day, or tell him their love secrets, &c. This was by far too tame an amusement for me, and as I had not been there for nearly three years, I requested Annie to show me the improvements in the grounds before we went in to tea, saying to Frank, banteringly, "I suppose, old fellow, you're too, lazy, and would prefer your sister taking me round?" "I'm too comfortable; lazy is an ugly word, Walter, but the fact is, Soph is just reading a most interesting book, and I can't leave it," he replied; "besides, sissie is quite as well, or better qualified than I am to show off the grounds. I never notice anything." "Come on, Annie," said I taking her hand; "Frank is in love." ![]() "No, I'm sure he never thinks of a girl, except his sisters," was the reply. We were now out of earshot, in a shady walk, so I went on a little more freely. "But, surely you, coz, are in love, if he is not. I can tell it by your liquid eye and heaving bosom." A scarlet flush shot over her features at my allusion to her finely moulded bosom, but it was evidently pleasing, and far from offensive, to judge by her playfully spoken, "Oh! Walter, for shame, sir!" We were a good distance away by this time, and a convenient seat stood near, so throwing my arms around the blushing girl, I kissed her ruby lips, and drawing her with me, said, "Now, Annie, dear, I'm your cousin and old playfellow, I couldn't help kissing those beautiful lips, which I might always make free with when we were little boy and girl together; now you shall confess all before I let you go." "But I've nothing to confess, sir." ![]() "Do you never think of love, Annie? Look me in the face if you can say it's a stranger to your bosom," putting my hand familiarly round her neck till my right hand rested on one of the panting globes of her bosom. She turned her face to mine, suffused as it was by a deeper blush than ever, as her dark blue eyes met mine, in a fearless search of my meaning, but instead of speaking in response to this mute appeal, I kissed her rapturously, sucking in the fragrance of her sweet breath till she fairly trembled with emotion. It was just beginning to get dusk, my hands were caressing the white, firm flesh of her beautiful neck, slowly working their way towards the heaving bubbies a little lower down; at last I whispered, "What a fine, what a lovely bust you have developed since I saw you last, dear Annie, you won't mind your cousin, will you, when everything used to be so free to each other; besides, what harm can there be in it?" She seemed on fire, a thrill of emotion seemed to shoot through both of us, and for several moments she lay almost motionless in my arms, with one hand resting on my thigh. Priapus was awake and ready for business, but she suddenly aroused herself, saying, "We must never stop here, let us walk round or they will suspect something." "When shall we be alone again, darling? We must arrange that before we go in," I said quickly. It was impossible to keep her on the seat, but as we walked on she said, musingly, "To-morrow morning we might go for a stroll before lunch, Frank lies in bed, and my sisters are keeping house this week; I shall have to mind the tarts and pies next week." I gave her another hug and a kiss, as I said, "How delightful that will be; what a dear, thoughtful girl you are, Annie." "Mind, sir, how you behave to-morrow, not so much kissing, or I shan't take you for a second walk; here we are at the house." Next morning was gloriously warm and fine; as soon as breakfast was over we started for our stroll, being particularly minded by papa to be back in good time for luncheon. I gradually drew out my beautiful cousin, till our conversation got exceedingly warm, the hot blood rushing in waves of crimson over her shamefaced visage. "What a rude boy you have grown Walter, since you were here last; I can't help blushing at the way you run on, sir!" she exclaimed at last. "Annie, my darling," I replied, "what can be more pleasing than to talk of fun with pretty girls, the beauties of their legs and bosoms, and all about them? How I should love to see your lovely calf at this moment, especially after the glimpses I have already had of a divine ankle," saying which I threw myself under a shady tree, close by a gate in a meadow, and drew the half-resisting girl down on the grass at my side, and kissed her passionately, as I murmured, "Oh! Annie, what is there worth living for like the sweets of love?" Her lips met mine in a fiery embrace, but suddenly disengaging herself, her eyes cast down, and looking awfully abashed, she stammered out, "What is it? what do you mean, Walter?" "Ah, coz dear, can you be so innocent? Feel here the dart of love all impatient to enter the mossy grotto between your thighs," I whispered, placing her hand upon my prick, which I had suddenly let out of the restraining trousers. "How you sigh; grasp it in your hand, dear, is it possible that you do not understand what it is for?" Her face was crimson to the roots of her hair, as her hand grasped my tool, and her eyes seemed to start with terror at the sudden apparition of Mr. John Thomas; so that taking advantage of her speechless confusion my own hand, slipping under her clothes, soon had possession of her mount, and in spite of the nervous contraction of her thighs, the forefinger searched out the virgin clitoris. "Ah! oh! oh!! Walter don't; what are you about?" "It's all love, dear, open your thighs a wee bit and see what pleasure my finger will make you experience," I again whispered, smothering her with renewed and luscious kisses, thrusting the velvet tip of my tongue between her lips. "Oh! oh! you will hurt!" she seemed to sigh rather than speak, as her legs relaxed a little of their spasmodic contraction. My lips continued glued to hers, our otherwise disengaged arms clasped each other closely round the waist, her hand holding my affair in a kind of convulsive grasp, whilst my fingers were busy with clitoris and cunny; the only audible sound resembling a mixture of kisses and sighs, till all in a moment I felt her crack deluged with a warm, creamy spend whilst my own juice spurted over her hand and dress in loving sympathy. In a short while we recovered our composure a little, and I then explained to her that the melting ecstasy she had just felt was only a slight foretaste of the joy I could give her, by inserting my member in her cunny. My persuasive eloquence and the warmth of her desires soon overcame all maiden fears and scruples; then for fear of damaging her dress, or getting the green stain of the grass on the knees of my light trousers, I persuaded her to stand up by the gate and allow me to enter behind. She hid her face in her hands on the top rail of the gate, as I slowly raised her dress; what glories were unfolded to view, my prick's stiffness was renewed in an instant at the sight of her delicious buttocks, so beautifully relieved by the white of her pretty drawers; as I opened them and exposed the flesh, I could see the lips of her plump pouting cunny, deliciously feathered, with soft light down, her lovely legs, drawers, stockings, pretty boots, making a tout ensemble, which as I write and describe them cause Mr. Priapus to swell in my breeches; it was a most delicious sight. I knelt and kissed her bottom, slit, and everything my tongue could reach, it was all mine, I stood up and prepared to take possession of the seat of love—when, alas! a sudden shriek from Annie, her clothes dropped, all my arrangements were upset in a moment; a bull had unexpectedly appeared on the opposite side of the gate, and frightened my love by the sudden application of his cold, damp nose to her forehead. It is too much to contemplate that scene even now. (To be continued.) The Origin Species Air.—"Derry Down." When Adam and Eve were first put into Eden, They never once thought of that pleasant thing—breeding Though they had not a rag to cover their front, Adam sported his prick, and Eve sported her cunt. Derry down. Adam's prick was so thick and so long—such a teaser; Eve's cunt was so hairy and fat—such a breezer; Adam's thing was just formed any maiden to please, And his bollocks hung down very near to his knees. Derry down. Eve played with his balls, and thought it no harm: He fingered her quim and ne'er felt alarm; He tickled her bubbies, she rubbed up his yard, And yet for a fuck, why they felt no regard. Derry down. But when Mrs. Eve did taste of the fruit, It was then that her eyes first beheld Adam's root; Then he ate an apple, and after he had done't, Why then he first found out the value of cunt. Derry down. Then they say they made fig leaves, that's fiddle-de-dee. He wanted a quim, and quite ready was she; They gazed on their privates with mutual delight, And she soon found a hole to put jock out of sight! Derry down. Then Adam soon laid Mrs. Eve on the grass, He pop't in his prick, she heaved up her arse; He wriggled, she wiggled, they both stuck to one tether And she tickled his balls, till they both came together! Derry down. Since then, all her children are filled with desire, And the women a stiff-standing prick all require! And no son of Adam will e'er take affront, For where is the man that can live without cunt. Derry down. Love ![]() Nature, everywhere the same, Imparts to man a lustful flame; In Russian snow or Indian fire, All men alike indulge desire, All alike, feel passion's heat, All alike, enjoyment greet, So that wheresoe'er you go, Still the same voluptuous glow Throbs through every purple vein, Thirsts enjoyment to obtain; 'Mongst the dark, or with the fair, Woman is empress everywhere. Nursery Rhymes ![]() There was a young man of Bombay, Who fashioned a cunt out of clay; But the heat of his prick Turned it into a brick, And chafed all his foreskin away. There was a young man of Peru, Who had nothing whatever to do; So he took out his carrot And buggered his parrot, And sent the result to the Zoo. There was a young girl of Ostend, Who her maidenhead tried to defend, But a Chasseur d'Afrique Inserted his prick, And taught that ex-maid how to spend. ![]() There was a young man of Calcutta, Who tried to write "Cunt" on a shutter. When he got to C-U, A pious Hindoo Knocked him arse over head in the gutter. There was a young man of Ostend, Whose wife caught him fucking her friend; "It's no use, my duck, Interrupting our fuck, For I'm damned if I draw till I spend." There was a young man of Wood Green, Who tried to fart "God Save the Queen." When he reached the soprano, He shot his guano, And his breeches weren't fit to be seen. There was a young man of Dundee, Who one night went out on the spree; He wound up his clock With the tip of his cock, And buggered himself with the key ![]() There was a young lady of Troy, Who invented a new kind of joy: She sugared her thing Both outside and in, And then had it sucked by a boy. There was a young man of Santander, Who tried hard to bugger a gander; But the virtuous bird Plugged his arse with a turd, And refused to such low tastes to pander. There was a young lady of Hitchin, Who was skrotching her cunt in the kitchen; Her father said "Rose, It's the crabs, I suppose." "You're right, pa, the buggers are itching." There was an old person of Sark, Who buggered a pig in the dark; The swine, in surprise, Murmured "God blast your eyes, Do you take me for Boulton or Park?"
2 Comments
jeb laura
3/15/2018 02:17:09 am
my wife and I like your site, we get a good laugh out of it, and love the history. awesome! awesome.
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Jim
9/7/2022 04:59:41 am
The historical aspect to the content is a wonderful thing to see. Oh for a time machine !! I certainly intend to search out more of this type of material. Thank you for a wonderful website.
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